As I stated last time, I’m starting with personal responsibility and then moving to interactions with others. One reason for this is because we can only change ourselves, not others, and another reason is that we can’t give what we don’t have.
You know how during airplane safety speeches they say to secure your own oxygen first? This applies in most areas of life! We can give love if we don’t have love. We can’t help others if we neglect our own self-care. We can’t share the gospel if we haven’t experienced it ourselves.
Self-care is a main ingredient of recovery. AND one that therapists ask about at EVERY visit!! Sometimes our reaching out to others has to be put on hold so we can move to a place of being able to reach out once again. We have to become free of our addictions. We have to establish our own firm foundation on Christ. We have to admit that we need help and move toward solutions or managing the difficulties. Once we’ve done these things, we can use our experiences to help others from a place of wellness.
A while back, a dear friend explained this in a very descriptive way. She said life is like a stream of water. Water is flowing from upstream just as we receive mentoring, encouragement, teaching, friendship, love from others. The water flows downstream from us as we mentor others, encourage others, share our experiences with others, love, exhort, witness, comfort, etc.
The Bible speaks of this in II Corinthians when it says…”Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. (II Cor 1:3-4)
Think of what happens when we cut ourselves off from being taught or counseled, when we isolate 
ourselves, or think we have it all figured out. It’s like the water is dammed up upstream from us. Eventually we’re going to run out of water to send downstream and become a dry barren riverbed. Likewise, if we dam up the river down stream of us by not helping others, eventually we’ll overrun our banks and cause problems with those around us. We become self-absorbed, needy, or dependent on others instead of giving as we’ve been given.
Let’s allow ourselves to be loved, taught, mentored, challenged, etc. and then let’s ask the Holy Spirit to guide us where there’s opportunity for us to pass that on to others. Oh, this brings another thought – the river flows in the riverbed, not over all the land. God would have us to do the things He’s ordained for us, not to try to do it all. If the river ran over all the earth, it would become shallow and not allow for its created purpose – support fish and other sea life and move water from where it begins to the next river or to the ocean.
Again, the Bible speaks of this also – Ephesians 2:8-10 says,
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ
Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.”
