1. Fear

   1. Fits the facts if
      1. Your life or well-being or someone you care about is in danger
      2. Your health or someone you care about is threatened
   2. Opposite Actions for Fear
      1. Do what you’re afraid of doing OVER and OVER
      2. Approach events, people, places, activities instead of withdrawing
      3. Do things to give yourself a sense of control over your fear
   3. All-The-Way Actions for Fear
      1. Keep your eyes and ears open and focused on the event; look around
      2. Take info from the situation, such as noticing you are safe
      3. Change posture and keep confident tone of voice
      4. Change your body chemistry, such as deep breathing

2. Anger

   1. Fits the facts if
      1. An important goal is blocked or desired activity is prevented
      2. You or some you care about is attacked, hurt, insulted, or threatened
      3. The integrity of your social group is offended
   2. Opposite Actions for Anger
      1. Gently avoid the person you are angry with rather than attacking
      2. Take a time out, breathe deeply
      3. Be kind rather than insulting
   3. All-The-Way Actions for Anger
      1. Imagine understanding and empathy of the other person; trade places
      2. Change posture, unclench hands, relax muscles, try a half smile
      3. Change your body chemistry, such as deep breathing, using physical activity

3. Disgust

   1. Fits the facts if
      1. Something you’re in contact with could poison or contaminate you
      2. Somebody whom you deeply dislike is touching you or someone you love
      3. You are around a person/group whose behavior/thinking could seriously damage or harmfully influence you
   2. Opposite Actions for Disgust
      1. Move close; eat, drink, stand near what you found disgusting
      2. Be kind to those you feel contempt for; trade places
   3. All-The-Way Actions for Disgust
      1. Imagine understanding and empathy of the other person; trade places
      2. Change posture, unclench hands, relax muscles, try a half smile
      3. Change your body chemistry, such as deep breathing

4. Envy

   1. Fits the facts if another person or group has what you want or need but don’t have
   2. Opposite Actions for Envy
      1. Inhibit destroying what the other person has
      2. Count your blessings; list the things for which you’re grateful
   3. All-The-Way Actions for Envy
      1. Count all your blessings and avoid discounting some blessings or exaggerating what you lack
      2. Stop exaggerating others’ value; check the facts
      3. Change posture, unclench hands, relax muscles, try a half smile

5. Jealousy

   1. Fits the facts if an important and desired relationship or object is in danger of being damaged or lost
   2. Opposite Actions for Jealousy
      1. Let go of controlling others’ actions
      2. Share the things and people you have in your life
   3. All-The-Way Actions for Jealousy
      1. Stop spying or snooping; suppress probing questions
      2. Listen to all the details instead of avoiding; focus on body sensations
      3. Change posture, unclench hands, relax muscles, try a half smile

6. Love

   1. (Opposite Action encouraged if the relationship would cause your Christian walk to falter)
   2. Fits the facts if
      1. Loving a person, animal, or object enhances quality of life for you or those you care about
      2. Loving a person, animal, or object increases your chances of attaining your own personal goals
   3. Opposite Actions for Love
      1. Avoid the person, animal, or object and distract your thoughts from it
      2. Remind yourself of why love is not justified; list out the cons
   4. All-The-Way Actions for Love
      1. Avoid contact (pictures of, texts/emails from, places they may be) with everything that reminds you of the person you love
      2. Stop expressing love for the person even to friends; unfriend the one you love
      3. Adjust your posture away from that person if you must be in their presence

7. Sadness

   1. Fits the facts if
      1. You have lost something or someone permanently
      2. things are not the way you want or expected and hoped them to be; unmet expectations
   2. Opposite Actions for Sadness
      1. Get active; approach and avoid avoiding
      2. Do things that make you feel competent and self-confident
      3. Increase pleasant events
   3. All-The-Way Actions for Sadness
      1. Pay attention to the present moment; be mindful of your surroundings and people around you
      2. Change your posture, head up, eyes open, shoulders back
      3. Change your body chemistry with physical movement

8. Shame

   1. (Remember – shame is the belief that one is flawed in how they are made, not guilt over sinful behavior)
   2. Fits the facts if you will be rejected by a person or group you care about if your personal characteristics of behavior are made public
   3. Opposite Actions for Shame
      1. Make public your personal characteristics/behavior with people who won’t reject you
      2. Repeat the behavior that sets off shame over and over without hiding the behavior from those who won’t reject you
   4. All-The-Way Actions for Shame if Shame not justified but guilt is
      1. Make public your behavior and apologize
      2. Repair transgressions and work to prevent further harm
      3. Accept consequences gracefully
   5. All-The-Way Actions for Shame if shame and guilt are not justified
      1. Speak with someone who can help you believe the truth of God’s love
      2. Spend time reading the Bible and praying for God’s help.

9. Guilt

   1. Fits the facts if your behavior violates your own values or moral code
   2. Opposite Actions for Guilt
      1. Make public your behavior and apologize
      2. Repeat the behavior that sets off shame over and over without hiding the behavior from those who won’t reject you
   3. All-The-Way Actions for Guilt if guilt not justified but shame is because you’d be rejected
      1. Hide your behavior if you want to stay in the group
      2. Use interpersonal skills if you want to stay in the group
      3. Work to change the person’s or group’s values
      4. Join a new group that fits your values and won’t reject you
   4. All-The-Way Actions for Guilt – Validate yourself

(Paraphrased from M. Linehan DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition 2015)