HOW INTENSELY TO ASK FOR SOMETHING
Low Intensity (let go, give in)
Level 1 Don’t ask; don’t hint
Level 2 Hint indirectly; take no
Level 3 Hint openly; take no
Level 4 Ask tentatively; take no
Level 5 Ask gracefully; but take no
Level 6 Ask confidently; take no
Level 7 Ask confidently; resist no
Level 8 Ask firmly; resist no
Level 9 Ask firmly; insist, negotiate, but keep trying
Level 10 Ask and don’t take no for an answer
High Intensity (stay firm)
HOW INTENSELY TO SAY NO TO SOMEONE
Low Intensity (let go, give in)
Level 1 Do what the other person wants without being asked
Level 2 Don’t complain; do it cheerfully
Level 3 Do it, even if you’re not cheerful about it
Level 4 Do it, but show that you’d rather not
Level 5 Say you’d rather not, but do it gracefully
Level 6 Say no confidently, but reconsider
Level 7 Say no confidently; resist saying yes
Level 8 Say no firmly; resist saying yes
Level 9 Say no firmly; resist, negotiate, but keep trying
Level 10 Don’t do it
