Healthy Relationship Wheel

As we started talking about what it would be like to re-integrate from residential treatment back to our home environment, we had sessions on relationships, trust, boundaries, communication skills, etc.  In one session, we talked through what healthy relationships should look like.  This wheel was a way to bring into focus the topics we were taught.

We were encouraged to add to it things that are important to us.  I added items like…

  • Being okay with silence
  • Accepting boundaries
  • Showing interest in each other

What would you add to it?

After that we were given some questions to consider:

  1. Do your relationships have these components? Which ones have most? Which ones have few?
  2. Which components are strong in your relationships and which could be areas of growth?
  3. Using the wheel as a guide, how do you think you can improve your relationship?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The plan is to share information from other sessions that gave us skills to build healthy relationships.

Quiet Spirit

As the topics move into the inter-relational areas, I’m finding it harder to write about them.  Most of them I don’t do well, and it’s very convicting.

I’ve also just finished reading a book called Cherish by Gary Thomas.  It was very insightful; I have a lot of work to do.  What I really mean is that I have a lot of letting go to do such that God can work more sanctification in my life.  I think it’s the only book I’ve ever read that addresses when spouses have opposite characteristics than stereotypical husbands and wives.  One of these is when the husband is gifted to process verbally and therefore wants to talk through decisions, conflict, and feelings while the wife is more of an internal processor and less interested in talking.  This is one of several ways that we are opposite of stereotypes. ⇒  I highly recommend this book to all couples!

In conjunction with reading Cherish, I’ve done some word studies on sections of I Peter.  One I found very interesting was in verses 3-4…

Whose adorning let it not be the outward adorning of plaiting the hair and of wearing of gold or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

I’m just going to break it down word by word or phrase by phrase and then put it back together.

  1. Adorning
    • Greek word – KOSMOS
    • Strong’s Concordance – orderly arrangement, decoration, by implication the world
    • Of 188 occurrences in scripture, 185 times KOSMOS was translated “world”
    • Satan tempts Jesus by showing him the kingdoms of the “world”.
    • Jesus says Ye are the light of the “world” in the sermon on the mount.
    • In I John, it’s written, Love not the world, neither the things in the “world”.
  2. Outward (adorning)
    • Greek word – EXOTHEN
    • Strong’s Concordance – external, without
    • Usually translated as “without”
    • “Adorning” was added here by the translators.
  3. Plaiting (the hair)
    • Greek word – EMPLOKE
    • Strong’s Concordance – elaborate braiding of the hair; Definitions elsewhere – elaborate gathering of one’s hair into knots, adding extensions
    • This is the only time in scripture this Greek word is used.
  4. Wearing (of gold)
    • Greek word – PERITHESIS
    • Strong’s Concordance – putting all around, decorating oneself with
    • This is the only time in scripture this Greek word is used.
  5. Putting (on of)
    • Greek word – ENDUSIS
    • Strong’s Concordance – investment with clothing, putting on
    • This is the only time in scripture this Greek word is used.
  6. Apparel
    • Greek word – HIMATION
    • Strong’s Concordance – an outer garment worn by the Greeks
    • Also translated as “garments”, “clothes”, and “raiment”
    • Garments that were put on the colt’s back and on the road when Jesus road into Jerusalem.
    • Clothes that were laid at Paul’s feet when Stephen was stoned.
    • Raiment that the soldiers cast lots for when Jesus was on the cross.
  7. Let it be – This was added by the translators
  8. Hidden man
    • Greek word – KRUPTOS
    • Strong’s Concordance – concealed, private, inward, secret
    • Usually translated “secret”
    • Other facts
  9. Of the heart
    • Greek word – KARDIA
    • Strong’s Concordance – heart; figuratively the thoughts or feelings (mind)
  10. Not corruptible
    • Greek word – APHTHARTOS
    • Strong’s Concordance – undecaying, immortal
  11. Even the ornament – this was added by the translators
  12. Meek
    • Greek word – PRAUS
    • Strong’s Concordance – mild, humble
  13. Quiet
    • Greek word – HESUCHIOS
    • Strong’s Concordance – properly keeping one’s seat, still, undisturbed, peaceable
  14. Spirit
    • Greek word – PHEUMA
    • Strong’s Concordance – by analogy or figuratively a spirit, the rational soul, mental disposition
    • This Greek word is used in conjunction with HAGIOS when scripture says “Holy Ghost” or “Holy Spirit”

This then could be rewritten like this…
Whose world, without elaborate hairstyles, decorating oneself with gold, or putting on the outer garment of the Greeks, instead private man of thoughts and feelings on the immortal, with humble and peaceable mental disposition.

I found it interesting that Peter, writing to the Jews, would use several Greek words that were not used anywhere else in the Bible – specifically words used for ‘plaiting the hair’, ‘wearing of gold’, and putting on of apparel”.  Is it possible there was an understanding among the Jewish Christians?  Was it more of a colloquial expression that they would understand?  I really don’t know, but I find it fascinating to look at aspects of the Bible
like this. There are so many times I
wish I could understand what the
authors were feeling, thinking, and
understanding beyond the exact
words they wrote that we can read.

I’ve had this quote in my picture folder
for a while now.  I think it goes well
with this passage.  God is calling us
to be humble and peaceable (not an
easy task!) and in that to be authentic.

Show and Tell

One of the Sundays I attended church while I was at TK, the message was titled Show and Tell.  It was mid-August, and school in Illinois had started.  The pastor explained that God Shows and We Tell.

⇒God SHOWS us his grace, his power, his creation, everything we need to know, and
⇒He wants us to TELL others about it.

In the old testament, God showed up all the time with miracles, healings, making covenants, walking among men. In the new testament, God showed up all the time with miracles, healings, making covenants, walking among men. And Jesus brought about the biggest Show and Tell in history through the cross and resurrection.

That Sunday at Calvary Church, the pastor used verses from Genesis 22 about Abraham and Isaac.  God had asked Abraham to sacrifice his son, so the two of them set off for Mt Moriah.  Isaac went along willingly; well, at least it doesn’t say anything about him not going willingly. They’re walking along with their wood and fire (a torch of some kind?).  Isaac says, “we have fire and wood, but where’s the sacrifice?”  And Abraham replies, “My son, God will provide for himself a lamb…”  Isn’t it interesting that Abraham would say God will provide for himself, and not say God will provide for us?

They continue walking and when they get to the top, Abraham builds an altar, lays the wood on, binds Isaac and places him on the altar.  He’s ready to slay his son, when God SHOWS UP.  God shows up in a big way speaking from the heavens.  God always shows up in His timing.  Most of us know that God stopped Abraham.  Then he provides a ram caught in the brush.

Most likely they sacrificed the ram and headed back down the mountain.  The Bible doesn’t say what happened after that.  The pastor was imagining the conversations that followed.  He talked about how knowledge was passed down by word of mouth in those days, and a lot of times that meant Grandpa telling stories by the fire.  He asked us to imagine Abraham telling the grandkids about his trip up the mountain that day, leading them in suspense until he proclaims, And then God showed up!

After a few rounds of this, one night he
starts in, have you kids heard about the
day Isaac and I walked up Mt Moriah?
And one of the adults groans, Come
on Dad, not that one again. They’ve all
heard it. But then a little voice pipes up,
We want to hear it again!  We never get
tired of hearing how God shows up!

Which person are we like – the
one who groans or the one who
wants to hear the gospel again?

As the pastor wrapped up, he said, It’s a
blessing and an honor to tell the story of
Jesus and about what God is doing in our
lives.  He referenced Hebrews 11, where
many people are listed as having been
faithful to God in living and sharing. And
he mentioned chapter 12; I looked it up
and found these subheadings: Jesus,
Founder and Perfecter of Our Faith, Do
Not Grow Weary, and A Kingdom That
Cannot Be Shaken.

What are we telling others?