This is a basic outline of the information in the Emotion Regulation Module.
(taken from DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition 2005 by Marsha M. Linehan)

What Emotions DO…

1. Motivate us to action
   1. The urge to action by certain emotions is hard-wired into our biology
   2. This urge to action can save time in getting us to act when we don’t have time to think things through
   3. Strong emotions can help us overcome obstacles in our minds and in the environment
2. Communicate to others
   1. Specific facial expressions for specific emotions are hard-wired into our biology [Research has shown that these specific expressions are true for any human regardless of race, language, age, gender, or location.]
   2. Body language and tone of voice is also hard-wired to specific emotions
   3. Whether we intend it or not, our communication of emotions influences others
3. Inform us
   1. Emotions can give us important information about the situation
   2. Gut feelings can be a response to something important about the situation and cause us to check the facts
   3. Caution: Sometimes we treat emotions as fact and use them to justify our thoughts or actions; this will cause trouble if because of it we don’t check the facts.

How to Determine Emotions…

1. Event – when an emotional response happens, the first step is to outline the event that happened right before the reaction
2. Sensations – the next step is to figure out what bodily sensations are happening
3. Thoughts – then to clue into the thoughts present
4. Action – last to notice what urge to action is present
5. By putting all this together, the emotion can be identified

Why it’s Hard to Regulate Emotions…

1. Biology – presence of biological factors such as physical pain, hunger, hormones, fatigue, stress
2. Lack of Skill – not knowing how to regulate the emotions
3. Reinforcement –
   1. Expression of emotion may be detrimental but because it was learned from the family of origin is a default expression
   2. Something in the environment reinforces the emotional reaction
4. Attitude –
   1. The mood controls action instead of the wise mind
   2. Lack of motivation to put the time and effort into regulating the emotions
5. Overload – high emotion causes a skills breakdown and processing thought/figuring out what to do is impossible
6. Myths –
   1. Myths get in the way, such as emotions are bad or weak which leads to avoiding emotion
   2. Myths get in the way, such as extreme emotions are necessary/ part of normality which leads to lack of interest in regulating emotions

Last time I detailed the “What” skills, what we do to practice Mindfulness.  Now, I have HOW to do that, and again, there are three parts:

Non-judgmentally
One minded
Effectively

The first goes along with Observe and Describe – it’s all about the facts. No judgments.  Here is a list of instructions we were given…

• Accept each moment.
• Don’t think in terms of good or bad, just IS
• Acknowledge the difference between helpful and harmful, but don’t judge them.
• Acknowledge the difference between safe and dangerous, but don’t judge them.
• Acknowledge your values and wishes without judging them.
• Acknowledge your emotional reactions without judging them.
• When you find yourself judging any of these, don’t judge yourself for judging!

One-mindfully is to be completely present in the moment. No thought of before or after. No thought of multitasking. No wishing you were elsewhere – mindfulness is being present NOW. There was a list in our DBT handouts…

• When you are eating, eat.
• When you are walking, walk.
• When you are worrying, worry.
• When you are planning, plan.
• When you are remembering, remember.

This can be especially helpful if there’s something distressing, something to worry about.  One of the instructors, said, “It’s normal to worry. It’s human to worry.  With mindfulness, you can take time to worry, spend a little time thinking about the situation, what might happen because of it. After worrying about it a little, move on.  Then do the next thing mindfully without worrying.”

The third part, Effectively, is a combination of advice that helps do the three parts of WHAT and the other two parts of HOW…well, effectively.

• Be mindful of your goals.
• Focus on what works.
• Play by the rules.
• Do what is needed for the current situation.
• Stop sitting on your hands.

Below is a great layout of how mindfulness works “in the moment.”  It’s about situations on the job, but I think it can apply to many other situations.

So, I’m looping back to the Mindfulness Module. It has three parts – Wise mind, What skills, and How skills, and all three parts will help us apply the other three DBT modules. Last time, I explained the usefulness of Mindfulness as being in the present moment. I also explained about the wise mind being a combination of the logical and emotional minds, a combination of both black and white, but not gray.

“What skills” are the actions for Mindfulness, and they include:

Observe
Describe
Participate

Thinking is a behavior, and action, and the “What” skills are about helping us practice thinking and taking control of the mind, such that we don’t get caught by the moment, experience a negative reaction, possibly based on something from the past, or leave the situation prematurely. Controlling the mind allows us to enjoy the moment instead of letting the moment control us.

The first, Observe, seems like it would be easy, but in the days of multitasking is not as easy as it sounds. To observe is to step back, notice sensations through all the senses, neither push thoughts away or hold on to them, and focus only on the present moment.  When, not if, the mind wanders distracted by sounds and sights around us, we bring it back to the moment. When, not if, the mind worries about the past or the future, we bring it back to the present moment.  This takes a lot of practice!

With lots of practice, one can eventually get to the point of enjoying each moment without a constant stream of chatter, such as preoccupation, daydreaming, or rumination. We can focus on a conversation and really enjoy time with a friend.  We can take a walk and not arrive having missed the beauty of the outdoors because we were preoccupied. We can read a news article, a book, or even the scripture without getting to the end and realizing we were just looking at the words without comprehending.

The second, Describe, is all about acknowledging.  As thoughts come and go, label them.  “I have this thought…” “My stomach muscles just tightened.” “That’s the feeling of anxiety.” Each one comes, is labeled, and let go again. Only things that can be observed through the senses are the focus; if it can’t be observed, it can’t be described.  The most difficult part here is to keep to the facts, and not allow opinions to get in the way and become part of the describing.

Again, with lots of practice, we can observe and describe without getting caught up in judgment either of ourselves or of what’s happening.  We slowly lose that negative soundtrack in our minds. We’re able to see what it true. I’ve found that this is not easy!  And I’ve not spent enough time practicing; that’s for sure!

Once the moment is observed and described, we can act. The third, Participate, is about becoming one with whatever you are doing.  Throw yourself into the action of the moment. Forget yourself. Do what is needed in the situation, acting from the Wise Mind.  Go with the flow.  The hardest part here is to not be self-conscious.  It’s really about enjoying life fully.