In one of our groups we were asked, what’s the difference between thinking and thoughts? Can we control either one?

Thoughts are automatic. They just show up. They are things. Thinking is an action. Things that show up without our choosing them aren’t under our control, therefore we can’t control, get rid of, or stop thoughts. Thinking, being an action, is something we can control. You’ve maybe heard about thoughts landing on your head like a bird, but it’s up to you whether it builds a nest there. It’s the same concept.

There were two exercises we tried at TK. The first exercise was to help us see that thoughts are inevitable. We were asked to not think about a specific item. It’s impossible. The mind works by addition, not subtraction, so trying not to think about something is impossible.  The other exercise involved seeing our thoughts come and go in order to get used the idea that thoughts show up without our consent and we can let them go without dwelling on them. We were instructed to picture sitting by a stream. We were to see each thought on a leaf floating in the water and notice as they came and went, soon replaced by another thought.

In an earlier post, I said that “understanding emotions ARE” is one vertebra in the backbone of therapy. Another is self-talk. There are thoughts coming into our minds all day, and we make choices about what to continue thinking on as this stream of chatter flows through. Of those choices, what we tell ourselves about ourselves is self-talk. It’s very enlightening to monitor your self-talk. Try it sometime – write down every thought you tell yourself about yourself.  If your self-talk is consistently negative, it’s time to change the recording to something positive.

This is a powerful illustration God gave me a few years ago…Picture a train depot with advertisements, announcements, a schedule, and some warnings hung on the walls. The depot personnel come around periodically to change the advertisements and the schedule. Sometimes they add a warning or remove an announcement. Now imagine this station as your mind, where every thought shows up and travels to every other area of your life.

• Are the posters outdated? Do they keep your mind occupied by the past?
• Are the warnings in line with the Bible, or are they about attaining wealth, doing as much as the next person, keeping your reputation intact?
• Are the advertisements comparing your life to someone else’s?
• Does the schedule take up the entire wall? Is the schedule etched into the wall and not open to God asking something else of us?

It was amazing to me how much I just cruised through life without considering my thoughts and how my choices to think on them affect my view of myself, of others, and of God.

I struggle with being critical – it’s the direction I gravitate. I’ve shared with our kids that we all need to beware of ANTs – automatic negative thoughts. Something happens and we automatically think we’re to blame. Or we automatically blame the other person. We automatically think the situation should be different. So much in the mind happens automatically!! It’s our job to slow it down and understand what’s happening in there. We need to take back managing the train station again!

The human body is a marvel and a testament to the power and creativity of God, the brain being the most complicated and mysterious of all. Babies are born with virtually all of the brain cells a human needs, but there are limited connections. As babies experiment and repeat movements, sounds, and thought patterns, connections form, and as long as there’s repetition, these connections continue to form and solidify throughout life. Where pipes and valves make up the circulatory and digestive systems like plumbing, the brain’s electrical system develops over time.

The brain has three main physical parts – the brain stem, the cerebellum, and the cerebrum. The brain stem is at the base of the brain, connecting the rest of the brain to the spinal nerves. Its main task is to control automatic functions, such as breathing, heart rate, digestion, and body temperature, and is where the startle response and the fight, flight, or freeze response are generated.  Sometimes it’s referred to as the reptilian brain because reptiles have all of these functions. This part of the brain is fully functional at birth and can keep the body alive even on life support.

The cerebellum, sometimes called the emotional brain, is located directly above the brain stem. Information about our surroundings is relayed through our senses to the cerebellum where sensations, emotions, and movement are coordinated. While the startle response in the brain stem will cause you to pull your hand away from the hot stove, the cerebellum would take in the feeling of being overheated, irritability at being hot, and tell you to move your arm to fan yourself. This all seems to happen instantly. Because this is the emotional brain, it’s also the information processing center for relationships. People are born with mirror neurons that allow them to mimic others, which gives them the ability as babies to watch their caregivers, copy them, and develop the neural pathways in their brains. We employ these mirror neurons all through life. Think of the last time someone yawned and you followed suit. How we affect others and how they affect us is processed in this part of the brain by way of mirroring (doing things together), repetition (spending time with someone), and allowing the emotions that are felt (pleasant or unpleasant) to be noticed.

The third section of the brain is the cerebrum, also known as the frontal cortex or neocortex. It’s the two halves that you usually see depicted at the top and front of the brain. You’ve probably heard people say they’re more right brained or left brained. This is because the right hemisphere is predominantly emotional, creative, and intuitive, and the left is predominantly logical, rational, and analytical. (At some point, I’ll write about Wise Mind which is how the two halves work together best.) When babies are born, their right brain has more connections than the left. They express their emotions through crying, smiling, cooing and they explore through creativity and intuition. As they grow and learn, the left brain starts to make connections and their logic and reasoning kicks in. The cerebrum is the center for executive function and decision making, and as we mature into adults, the connections there multiply faster and faster.

Within the cerebellum are two small organs called the thalamus and the amygdala. The thalamus converges all sensory input in one pot and passes it on to the amygdala (closer to the brain stem) a little faster than to the frontal cortex (decision making). The amygdala sifts through to see if there’s any danger present. If there is, the sympathetic nervous system is engaged, and adrenaline and cortisol are secreted causing the heart rate and blood pressure to go up and energy supplies to increase. This constitutes the fight, flight, or freeze response. The bottom of the brain hijacks the rest, and logical thought is impossible at that moment. The frontal cortex catches up right after, and the person can decide if they want to keep responding the way they started. Once the danger is past the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in to slow the heart back down, deepen the breathing, and restore calm. The parasympathetic system can be jump started through deep breathing, hence the deep breathing exercises for calmness. Essentially the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems are the accelerator and the brake respectively.

When a person lives with trauma – whether it’s a one-time event like a car accident or ongoing like abuse or neglect – they are more sensitized to real or perceived danger. Adrenaline and cortisol levels don’t come down to normal baseline because the fight or flight is always simmering, especially if the threat is ongoing. The body may be trying to settle through the parasympathetic nervous system while the brain is trying to rev up the sympathetic nervous system to protect the body. We know that driving with both the accelerator and brake pressed down wreaks havoc on a vehicle, and likewise, the conflict between systems wreaks havoc on the body. Hypersensitivity to real or perceived danger over a long period of time can show up through autoimmune diseases, bowel problems, sleep problems, migraines, and so on.

Earlier I explained how the brain forms connections through repetition. We all react instinctively, but when trauma happens to children, the short-term survival instinct may be detrimental in the long run. Because it’s helpful at that moment, the child will use that coping mechanism the next time they feel threatened. Over time that neural pathway solidifies. Obviously, if it is detrimental in the long run, that will show up in the long run.  Some examples may be…

• A child hides, and as an adult they cut off relationships that get too close.
• A child tries to be as good as possible in order to be invisible, and as an adult their perfectionism causes depression and possibly suicidal thoughts.
• A child, helpless in stopping abuse, retreats into their mind, and as an adult they become anxious about everything as they continue to spend too much time “in their head.”

Many times the long term effects of hypersensitivity include anxiety and depression as mentioned above, and also post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD), self-harm, eating disorders, and addictions. People are trying to cope. This was the case for so many residents at the treatment center. Through understanding how the brain and body work, understanding our own coping mechanisms, learning how to find other creative resources, learning to be in the present moment through mindfulness, and many other lessons, we were able to begin healing. Those that begin to understand God’s unconditional love for us are able to heal faster because knowing this allows one to let that hypersensitivity rest. God is there to comfort through all the hard work and tough times in the healing process.

For me, accepting God’s unconditional love, being able to forgive myself, and learning to stay in the moment were key. Christ says Come to me and I will give you rest. When I do come to him, I do find rest. When I forgive myself, I’m not chained to my past actions that God has already forgiven. When I pay attention to the moment I’m living right now, I can steer away from depression due to dwelling on the past and anxiety about what’s going to happen in the future. All of this really does lead to true rest.

One last brainy fact…There are ways to reprocess neural pathways – essentially breaking connections and forming new ones. The brain is capable of being retrained. It’s takes work, hard work, but it can be done. Someday I’ll write more on that!