Author Archives: brocke

DBT

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DBT stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  This is a treatment program developed by Marsha Linehan, PhD, to treat clients with depression, anxiety, other mental health problems, or just being stuck in the acceptance/change dilemma.  When someone looks at life with only two options, it can be downright painful.  I know I got stuck in the A or B dilemma of either I have to try to change everything (me, others, circumstances) or I have to accept everything the way it is (and like it.)  The beauty of DBT is to find the AND, and learn how to balance acceptance and change.  DBT was one of the main programs taught at Timberline.

Here’s an excerpt from the website Behavioral Tech: A Linehan Institute Training Company found at  https://behavioraltech.org/resources/faqs/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/

“Problematic behaviors evolve as a way to cope with a situation or attempt to solve a problem. While these behaviors might provide temporary relief or a short-term solution, they often are not effective in the long-term. DBT assumes that clients are doing the best they can, AND they need to learn new behaviors in all relevant contexts. DBT helps enhance a client’s capabilities by teaching behavioral skills in areas like mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. These skills help people develop effective ways to navigate situations that arise in everyday life or manage specific challenges.”

And then, here’s an excerpt from the same website explaining the way the program is taught…

“There are four modules in skills training:

  • Mindfulness: the practice of being fully aware and present in this one moment
  • Distress Tolerance: how to tolerate pain in difficult situations, not change it
  • Interpersonal Effectiveness: how to ask for what you want and say no to what you don’t want while maintaining self-respect and relationships with others
  • Emotion Regulation: how to change emotions that you want to change”

Even the modules are balanced between the acceptance/change dilemma – The first two are about acceptance and the others about change.

The curriculum at Timberline was taught on a rotating schedule of four modules every four weeks, and since most people were there for 4-6 weeks, they were able to learn and practice each module.  I hope to be able to explain the basics of what we learned in the coming weeks.

Many times we said the Serenity Prayer together as this too was part of the recovery process, and specifically part of the 12 Step Recovery Program.  Here’s an interesting diagram of it!

Last week I wrote about progress and perfection. Progress is all about the acceptance/change balance, and here is an awesome example of it:  God accepts me “Just as I Am” and then desires to sanctify me to be more and more like him.

Dialectical or Dichotomous

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Time to get back to therapy topics! Before the last few devotional posts, I was talking about positive self-talk, perfectionism, automatic negative thoughts, etc.

One of the automatic negative thought patterns is “All or Nothing Thinking” or “Black and White Thinking”, as referenced in the Perfectionism post. The technical psychological term for black and white thinking is Dichotomous Thinking.  It comes from the Greek roots for “in two” and “to cut.”  It basically means to look at life with an Either/Or perspective.

⇒Either I’m right or you’re right.
⇒Either I can do this perfectly or I’m a failure.
⇒Either I am loved or I’m worthless.
⇒Either I choose option A or option B.

This kind of thinking leads to real problems.  How can we do our best if we are either expecting perfection of ourselves or calling ourselves worthless?  How do we get along with others if one of us always has to be right?  Isn’t it true that we can have different opinions and still both be right?  Isn’t it true that we can make mistakes and still be a person worthy of love?

⇒I like seafood restaurants and you like steakhouses; we’re both right.
⇒I can make mistakes and not be a failure; everyone makes mistakes.
⇒Sometimes I mess up and I’m still loved.
⇒Sometimes option A and option B are both viable options along with many more choices.

Do you notice the difference between the first set of statements and the second? The operative word is AND.  When we can think with AND instead of OR, it’s called Dialectical Thinking.  Dialectical means “a synthesis or integration of opposites.”  Dialectical thinking is flexible and open to options as well as opposites.

When I went to ACCFS for counseling there were so many times I would ask “What do I do in this situation? Should I do this or should I do that?”  My counselor always answered, “Are there only two options?”  After a while I made sure when I was asking for help to either ask open ended without options or to offer more than two options!

    

Rest

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The last post ended with a sentence of, “I can rest…”
I wanted to share another set of verses I looked at having to do with rest – Matthew 11:28-30.

“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

This included another set of interesting definitions.

  1. Labor – (G2872 kopiao) feel fatigue, work hard, be wearied
  2. Heavy laden – (G5412 phortizo) overburden with ceremony or spiritual anxiety
  3. (Give you) Rest – (G373 anapauo) repose, to refresh, take ease
  4. (Find) Rest – (G372 anapausis) intermission, recreation, rest
  5. Yoke – (G2218 zugos) servitude, pair of balances
  6. Easy – (G5543 chrestos) employed, useful, gracious, better, kind
  7. Burden – (G5413 phortion) task or service
  8. Light – (G1645 elaphros) smaller in size, easy

Come unto me, all ye that [work hard and feel fatigued] and are [overburdened with spiritual ceremony or anxiety.] Take my [servitude] upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find [intermission, recreation, rest] unto your souls. For my [servitude] is [useful, gracious, better] and my [service] is [smaller in size, easy.] (emphasis mine)

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