At Timberline, we spent a lot of time thinking about how to make changes in our own lives to live a more healthy lifestyle, to put boundaries in place, to overcome our struggles, etc. After all, we were there to begin or increase our recovery.
One of the Christian based sessions was
titled Moving Toward Community. We
talked about how only taking care of
ourselves can cause us to isolate
ourselves and use others to get our
needs met instead of being in giving
relationships. The main themes from this
session included discussion on these topics.
- How do we become less self-centered?
- What’s the difference between being self-centered and self-caring?
- How does being other-centered help us?
- How do our actions affect others?
- What does it look like to try walking in someone else’s shoes?
- Is it possible to be nice to someone and still be motivated by selfishness?
- How should we interact with others in a way that they don’t feel used and we can still get our needs met?
- How is being other-centered evidence of spiritual growth?
- What are ways we can be more self-less today?
It’s a beneficial discussion for those in recovery
because we do get very inward focused. As we
begin to heal, there’s more room to look outward.
I know for myself, one of my biggest fears is that
as I heal more and more will I be forgotten? Who will
give in to my life if I’m looking out for others? Will they
reciprocate? Will there be someone else to do this for
me? I can get into a self-preserving mindset when I
start to feel as though no one else is there for me.
I need to remember that everyone on earth will fail me and that God “can do anything but fail”!! I need to turn to him when I’m feeling alone, remembering that he’s always there and always ready to listen. It’s so easy for my view of God to get distorted. Only by spending time with him daily can I avoid this.
Even with knowing others will fail me, I benefit when I reach out to them from my isolation and self-preservation. By helping someone else, I affect the world for good, I encourage someone else, and for a few moments, my problems take a back seat.
I’m interested in your feedback! Do you lean more toward self-preservation or do you lean toward being other-focused? Does this ever cause you to not take care of yourself in God honoring ways? I really would love to hear your comments.
