Upstream – Downstream

As I stated last time, I’m starting with personal responsibility and then moving to interactions with others. One reason for this is because we can only change ourselves, not others, and another reason is that we can’t give what we don’t have.

You know how during airplane safety speeches they say to secure your own oxygen first?  This applies in most areas of life!  We can give love if we don’t have love.  We can’t help others if we neglect our own self-care. We can’t share the gospel if we haven’t experienced it ourselves.

Self-care is a main ingredient of recovery. AND one that therapists ask about at EVERY visit!!  Sometimes our reaching out to others has to be put on hold so we can move to a place of being able to reach out once again. We have to become free of our addictions.  We have to establish our own firm foundation on Christ. We have to admit that we need help and move toward solutions or managing the difficulties.  Once we’ve done these things, we can use our experiences to help others from a place of wellness.

A while back, a dear friend explained this in a very descriptive way.  She said life is like a stream of water.  Water is flowing from upstream just as we receive mentoring, encouragement, teaching, friendship, love from others.  The water flows downstream from us as we mentor others, encourage others, share our experiences with others, love, exhort, witness, comfort, etc.

The Bible speaks of this in II Corinthians when it says…”Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. (II Cor 1:3-4)

Think of what happens when we cut ourselves off from being taught or counseled, when we isolate ourselves, or think we have it all figured out.  It’s like the water is dammed up upstream from us.  Eventually we’re going to run out of water to send downstream and become a dry barren riverbed.  Likewise, if we dam up the river down stream of us by not helping others, eventually we’ll overrun our banks and cause problems with those around us.  We become self-absorbed, needy, or dependent on others instead of giving as we’ve been given.

Let’s allow ourselves to be loved, taught, mentored, challenged, etc. and then let’s ask the Holy Spirit to guide us where there’s opportunity for us to pass that on to others.  Oh, this brings another thought – the river flows in the riverbed, not over all the land.  God would have us to do the things He’s ordained for us, not to try to do it all.  If the river ran over all the earth, it would become shallow and not allow for its created purpose – support fish and other sea life and move water from where it begins to the next river or to the ocean.

Again, the Bible speaks of this also – Ephesians 2:8-10 says,
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ
Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.”

Fundamental Components of Recovery

At ACCFS and in Chicago, DBT was only part of the counseling.  Now that I’ve gone through all the DBT skills, I plan to lay out other lessons we learned.  The first set will be more personal in nature because we can only change ourselves; then I’ll move on to lessons having to do with relationships and interacting with others.

One document we talked through is called The 10 Fundamental Components of Recovery adapted from (2006) Consensus Statement Defines Mental Health Recovery. Retrieved from www.samhsa.gov/SAMHSA_News/BolumeWIV_2/article.htm. I’m paraphrasing here…

  1. Self-Direction – the individual defines his/her own goals and designs a unique path towards those goals.
  2. Individualize and Person-Centered – the pathway to recovery is based on the individual’s unique strengths and resiliencies, needs, past experiences, etc.
  3. Empowerment – each one has the authority to choose the pathway to recovery and speak to their own needs, wants, desires, and aspirations.
  4. Holistic – recovery encompasses the whole person, including mind, body, spirit, and community and embraces all aspects of life, including housing, employment, education, health, spirituality, addiction treatment, and social networks.
  5. Non-Linear – recovery is not step by step, but based on continual growth, occasional setbacks, and learning from experience; it begins with recognition that positive change is possible.
  6. Strengths-Based – recovery focuses on building on capacities, resiliencies, talent, coping abilities, and inherent worth of individuals which allows one to leave the unhealthy roles and engage in new roles such as partner, friend, student, employee, etc.
  7. Peer Support – Through mutual support of sharing experiential knowledge and skills back and forth, recovery is strengthened with a sense of belonging, value, and community.
  8. Respect – Both regaining self-respect and being accepted and appreciated by others are crucial in achieving recovery as it ensures inclusion and full participation in all aspects of life.
  9. Responsibility – Each one has personal responsibility for their own self-care and journey toward recovery; Though it may take great courage, people must strive to give meaning to their experiences and identify coping strategies to promote their own wellness.
  10. Hope – Peers, family, friends, and providers can foster hope which is the catalyst of the recovery process and provides the motivating message of a positive future.

 

After talking through these components, we were asked to write a recipe for recovery, what we think the steps are, what we need, how long it will take, etc.  Here are a few things that I’d written in response…

  • Recovery starts with someone willing to admit there’s a problem.
  • They know they have a problem, and they want to be part of the solution.
  • They are involved in the planning and the level of strenuousness.
  • They are responsible to participate and take advantage of opportunities available.
  • Their strengths are considered, such that recovery, though building from a low spot, also takes advantage of what their strengths have to offer the world around them.
  • The whole person is served such that as the mind or body heals the other is not neglected, causing different problems.
  • Recovery can’t be achieved in isolation. Peer support and respect of others gives empowerment and hope. Seeing the spectrum of recovery timing for others gives hope; it’s a way to measure progress.
  • The non-linear way the brain, especially the emotional mind, works allows for fits and starts. Set backs must be expected because we are human, but with the determination of the individual and support of others, there is hope.

 

Check out the new quotes I’ve posted!

DBT Wrap-up

Wow, it’s been a long time since I posted!  It seems like life just keeps getting in the way of sitting down to write.

Well, we’re ready to wrap up the
DBT topics – well the ones that are
part of the official curriculum by
Marsha Linehan.  There are related
topics that I’ll write about next.

 

 

 

 

 

Here is an overview of Linehan’s skills…

 

 

 

 

 

 

One way to keep track of how well you’re using these skills is through a DBT diary card.  It has the skills listed out and space to mark for each day whether you used them or not.  There are many versions of this diary card, so this is just one example.  Sometimes we would just note which we used.  Other times we’d use  1-10 scale for how high our emotion was or how well we used the skills.

I’ll post a printable sheet under Lists for those that are interested in using it.

One last thought to leave you for today…