The third skill in Interpersonal Effectiveness Module is FAST – this is the skill you use if your objective in your interaction is to preserve your self-respect.

F – FAIR:     Be fair to yourself and to the other person; remember to validate your own feelings and wants as well as the other person’s.

A – APOLOGIES:    Don’t overapologize: don’t apologize for being alive or for making any requests, don’t apologize for having an opinion or for disagreeing; Don’t look ashamed with eyes or head down, slumped shoulders, and don’t invalidate what is actually valid.

S – STICK TO VALUES:    Stick to your own values, don’t sell out your values or integrity for reasons that aren’t VERY important; be clear on what you believe is the moral or valued way of thinking and acting, and then “stick to your guns.”

T – TRUTHFUL:    Don’t lie, exaggerate, or make up excuses; don’t act helpless when you aren’t.

I have to admit that these interpersonal skills are very difficult for me – every one of them.  I should probably clarify: it’s not that I can’t practice the FAST skills, it’s that I don’t do it well with grace.

Here is a recap of the Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills…