Well, I’ve been able to take some baby steps toward better self-care.  How about you?

In the last post, we took a look at Anger; we can look at Shame the same way.  I confess that this is hard for me to write as I’m dealing with some of this right now.  Part of my intensive treatment at ACCFS was to reprocess memories and thought processes that cause shame, and I’ve found that while it helped a great deal, I still have cycles of shame, depression, and recovery.

Shame and guilt are closely related and can easily be mistaken for each other.  Hopefully this helps explain the difference…

Guilt arises when we violate the values we hold or go against God’s desires for us.  It’s positive in that the Holy Spirit uses it to guide us, to help us see where we need to turn back, and we are able to fully embrace our Christian walk when staying close to the Spirit.  Guilt is a normal emotion.  Everyone feels guilt at some time.

Shame is a feeling bad about ourselves, not what we’ve done.  It’s feeling like how we’re made is flawed, that we are inadequate, and/ or that we don’t deserve to be loved or to belong. It can lead to depression or despair.  It may be disguised as anxiety, depression, PTSD, and even show up in physical symptoms that seem to have no explanation. It can lead to giving up.  Shame can be so painful, it looks like there’s no way to come out of it. There is nothing positive about shame.

I posted the Shame Indicator Inventory (that we took) under Lists; it’s also here.  Below it are some lists of causes, signs and symptoms, and how to dissolve shame.  I would encourage anyone that scores high on the inventory to seek help.

Satan will tempt us and torment us as long as we live on this earth.  Sometimes he gets us twice by our failing to overcome and then feeling shame about it instead of guilt. If we can learn to recognize shame, it’s easier to turn that into guilt and take the right steps to make that right.  Recognizing shame is the first step to healing.

Brené Brown has studied shame for over 15 years.  She has a couple of fantastic TED talks on YouTube, if you’re interested.  Here are a couple of quotes from her…